The Kat Cave

I was 40 weeks and 4 days pregnant, and I was having a fight with Tom.

It was just after breakfast on 30 October 1999, we were in our first home, and I was fat and tired and grumpy and desperate for a fight. Tom obliged, even though he pointed out that in my condition, I was always bound to win.

“There you go! You’ve always got some trump card!” he shouted. I was stood in the kitchen, and my water had just broken.

It was our first pregnancy, and because of Tom’s illness, we’d gone through a gruelling process of IVF to get here.

And so, off to hospital we went.

I got there, and after being examined, I was 2 cm dilated. It was gonna be a long day.

It was 7 p.m. before labour became more active, and more stressful.Tom was standing around, keeping well back. I had spent the evening walking around, and actually had my head around the whole thing, just wishing it would hurry up. And really didn’t need anyone talking to me.

By midnight, contractions are coming thick and fast, and I was still refusing pain relief. I was checked on regularly, and from midnight to 2 a.m., the contractions were coming every 5 minutes, each getting more and more intense. I got hooked on watching the clock in the delivery suite, just trying to get through it an hour at a time.

At 1 a.m, we went into transition. The baby was taking his time descending. A very painful hour ensued…. An hour of pain and vomiting.

At 2 a.m., something awful happened. An orderly came in, and put the clock back an hour. Daylight savings had ended, and we were moved from British Summer Time to Greenwich Mean Time.

By the SECOND 2 a.m., things were really moving. At 3:10 a.m., Tom stood behind the midwife, and tears began streaming, as Jack Peter Mackenzie Cavadino made his first appearance. Our Halloween baby was perfect. Weighing in at 8 pounds and 4 ounces, born with no pain relief, he was our hope, our faith in the future personified.

We had no idea how long we would have together as a family. And in the moment we first saw him, we knew we’d make every second together count.

Jack turned 9 today. He’s 1.43 meters - around 4 ft 8. Which puts him only 5 inches shorter than me.

He’s read nearly every book in his school, and is all the Smart. He has an insatiable thirst for knowledge, which sometimes scares me - he asks questions I just can’t answer. And he gets frustrated when he can’t find the answers. But he’s only 9. He has a long way and a lot of learning to do.

He remembers his father vaguely, and we talk about him a lot. We moved home to Montreal when Jack was 5, Tom had died a year earlier. He’s seen a lot of upheaval and changes in his little life, and even now, can look like a little boy with the world on his shoulders.

For his birthday? We gave him the world. A globe. What he chooses to do with it? Only time will tell.

He’s my first born, my little guy. He changed my world. And for him, I would do anything.